Well, I been workin' sixty hour weeks, the pain it doesn't end
I get home, fall asleep, and then it's back to work again
It's hard, but, hey—it's worth it, and no one at work knows
If I get down in time there's places I just gotta go

For weeks on end, polo shirts, clean jeans, static jackets, and computer screens
Every now and then I just gotta cut loose or I may start to scream, 'cause

I'm a weekend Filker - a bastard writer come of age
I'm a weekend Filker - someday I'll be up on stage
I'm a weekend Filker - and one day I'll be called a sage
I'm a weekend Filker - and—Oh wait, shit, there's my page…

 Yeah, boss…What?…No, the documents are on the shared drive…
 Yessir, all of them…Software source, graphics, data files…
 Look under \\CODATA—that's "company data", sir—OK?
 \\CODATA\DATA\U-R-A-M-O-R-O-N…Yessir…You're welcome, sir…gods…

Been pushin' it for seven weeks just to free this weekend up
Had everything all set to go, then everything blew up
Now it's Friday, the Con begins today, and my shit is in the car
But we're still in crisis mode here—what to do with my guitar?
It's 90* in the shade, and I can't just leave it sit outside (*32 Celcius)
But if I bring it in to work, my secret's compromised…

I'm a weekend Filker - I'll hide it underneath my desk
I'm a weekend Filker - next to my costume with the low-cut neck
I'm a weekend Filker - and I'm going to have a ball
I'm a weekend Filker - and—dammit, wait a second—got a call…

 Yeah, boss…This weekend?…No, I really can't…
 Really, I'd love to help, but—uh—
 I've come down with something {cough, cough}
 {SCRATCHY} To tell the truth I'm really kind of tied to—
 uh—the, uh—the head!!!
 Yeah…Sorry, Boss—diarrhea.  Gotta go…
 (…yeah, in more ways than one…shitty job…)

…instrumental…

It's Sunday afternoon, the Con is finally winding down
Soon it's back to work and the Yuppie look in a cubicle downtown
But till the weekend's over, it's still my guitar and me
Draining all the beer still left in Hospitality

Come Monday, I'll be hurtin', but I can't let them know why
Maybe I'll just say I caught a bug at a local church fish fry
This double life is stressful, but I don't do it out of guilt
You can go to jail in this here state if you get caught writing FILK

'Cause I'm a Weekend Filker - out of tune guitar and crusty strings
I'm a weekend Filker - long offkey dirges will I sing
I'm a weekend Filker - no sense of rhythm will you detect
I'm a weekend Filker - and—damn, there's a voice mail—wait just one sec

 Yeah?…Oh, hi Boss…you want me there now? It's Sunday…
 Of course I like my job—just not that much…
 …I said I like it very much. It's just that I'm kinda tied up…
 But they've had that for over two weeks!!
 They called you TODAY to say you need a change by tomorrow??
 Oh…They left you a message last TUESDAY that they need a change by tomorrow…
 …huh…yeah…just flocking wonderful…
 I had nothing better to do with my time…